[11:10:17 AM] Dirk van Ingen: well you're not planning on getting married are you?
[11:10:18 AM] Dirk van Ingen: lol
[11:12:11 AM] Anna Pechenina: no not yet im not
[11:12:38 AM] Dirk van Ingen: sounds leading
[11:16:57 AM] Anna Pechenina: meaning?
[11:17:28 AM] Dirk van Ingen: oh nothing, just didn't know if you were lining one up
[11:18:21 AM] Dirk van Ingen: just kidding around
[11:18:34 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol not really. I do talk abt it all the time but the time isnt right
[11:19:23 AM] Dirk van Ingen: too young? not the right person?
[11:19:58 AM] Anna Pechenina: too young
[11:20:06 AM] Dirk van Ingen: too many student loans, lol
[11:20:18 AM] Anna Pechenina: that too lol
[11:20:25 AM] Anna Pechenina: who wants to marry a girl with a debt
[11:20:57 AM] Dirk van Ingen: honestly? someone who really loves that girl
[11:23:02 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol well i wish this world was this idealistic, i get more and more skeptical, though deep down i still believe in my childish ideas that there's nothing that can stop two people from being together if they love each other. One problem though, I see the trees and not the forrest anymore, getting lost in my everyday existence. I dont dream big anymore. Where did it all go?
[11:23:06 AM] Anna Pechenina: srry had to share
[11:23:41 AM] Dirk van Ingen: thats fine, i like knowing what you think
[11:24:50 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i think you're very right. It's important to foucus on everyday life to ensure its going in the right direction
[11:25:24 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i just fear that waiting forever or for the perfect moment might cause me to miss out on it altogether
[11:25:54 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i still believe in love, but i believe reality is more real
[11:26:16 AM] Dirk van Ingen: love can be stronger, but that is just too hard most of the time
[11:26:28 AM] Dirk van Ingen: plus, i'm no fool
[11:26:35 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i know you're not either
[11:26:38 AM] Anna Pechenina: see, but why do kids believe otherwise? because of lack of understanding of this world or because of actual presence of this undesrtanding?
[11:26:54 AM] Dirk van Ingen: they haven't been hurt yet, either by love or reality
[11:27:05 AM] Dirk van Ingen: one of those trees hasn't reached out and smacked them
[11:27:11 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol
[11:27:52 AM] Anna Pechenina: well how do you grow higher than a tree? to see the forrest then?
[11:27:54 AM] Anna Pechenina: you dont?
[11:28:15 AM] Dirk van Ingen: you find a way to climb up the mountain on the other side
[11:28:17 AM] Anna Pechenina: why do little things scare people away and limit their actions?
[11:28:34 AM] Dirk van Ingen: because we thing those little things matter so much
[11:28:37 AM] Dirk van Ingen: we're afriad
[11:28:44 AM] Dirk van Ingen: fear is a huge motivator
[11:29:13 AM] Anna Pechenina: i think its because mental blocks we place upon our selfves and its not in just love, but in everything. we think we cant do something and that we need to hold tight to the material posessions we do have
[11:29:35 AM] Dirk van Ingen: or pride, or careers
[11:29:38 AM] Anna Pechenina: but in reality these posessions do not mean shit
[11:29:57 AM] Anna Pechenina: yes, the older i get the more I wanna run away to the mountains and become apolitical
[11:30:13 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'm telling you, i'm going to do that someday
[11:30:38 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'll be come like cincinattus, and if they need me they can call me back, otherwise i'm going to live the way i want to
[11:30:50 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol we can be naighbors, that is if there are any unpolluted territories are still left with the whole abuse of the nature going on
[11:31:09 AM] Dirk van Ingen: there is plenty of beautiful land left
[11:31:14 AM] Dirk van Ingen: you haven't see the west yet
[11:31:18 AM] Dirk van Ingen: *seen
[11:31:28 AM] Anna Pechenina: i've been west... well west coast
[11:31:40 AM] Dirk van Ingen: not the mountains, not the rockies
[11:31:51 AM] Anna Pechenina: yes, imma do it some day
[11:31:56 AM] Anna Pechenina: just spend a month there
[11:32:01 AM] Dirk van Ingen: you need to
[11:32:06 AM] Anna Pechenina: I want to
[11:32:08 AM] Dirk van Ingen: you spend a month you might not come back
[11:32:17 AM] Anna Pechenina: is that a bad thing?
[11:32:23 AM] Dirk van Ingen: not really
[11:32:34 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'd come visit
[11:32:49 AM] Anna Pechenina: if only i had the means
[11:32:59 AM] Dirk van Ingen: thats the other big limitation
[11:33:06 AM] Anna Pechenina: money is all i need to be happy and while i got none I am tied to this society
[11:33:19 AM] Dirk van Ingen: very true
[11:33:28 AM] Dirk van Ingen: thats why i'm saving up already
[11:33:34 AM] Anna Pechenina: im being pulled by the strings because the more loans I get more dependent i become
[11:33:43 AM] Dirk van Ingen: yeah
[11:33:44 AM] Anna Pechenina: see but I cant possibly
[11:33:58 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i know, i'm not being critical
[11:34:12 AM] Anna Pechenina: id live on bread and water qand pay rent
[11:34:23 AM] Anna Pechenina: what am i to do?
[11:34:29 AM] Anna Pechenina: how am I to get out?
[11:34:35 AM] Dirk van Ingen: haha, marry rich
[11:34:39 AM] Anna Pechenina: bread and water it is!
[11:34:44 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol no way jose
[11:34:46 AM] Dirk van Ingen: or work long and hard
[11:34:49 AM] Anna Pechenina: im marrying for love not money
[11:34:55 AM] Anna Pechenina: this much idealism i still retain
[11:35:01 AM] Dirk van Ingen: good for you
[11:35:22 AM] Anna Pechenina: and this is when i start to oppreciate socialist russia
[11:35:26 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'm curious, you didn't say you didn't have the person, so i'm guessing you have the guy picked out
[11:35:33 AM] Anna Pechenina: you could live in the forrest and no one would do anything to you
[11:35:40 AM] Dirk van Ingen: true
[11:35:49 AM] Anna Pechenina: I dont have a guy picked out but I am in a relationship
[11:36:02 AM] Dirk van Ingen: oh
[11:36:14 AM] Anna Pechenina: you asked
[11:36:32 AM] Dirk van Ingen: yeah, i did
[11:36:50 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i guess i already figured, like i said, i'm no fool
[11:37:13 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol well and i didnt promise anything either
[11:37:21 AM] Anna Pechenina: you know life is too complicated
[11:38:25 AM] Anna Pechenina: i thought abt you and I the other day and it just couldn't work. constant stress and traveling, neither of us was wanting to give anything up. Im in a long distance relationship now again and idk where its all going. Hence the trees and not thee forrest
[11:38:45 AM] Dirk van Ingen: yeah
[11:40:52 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'll be honest, quick cause i have to leave (and i pray it doesn't scare you from talking to me still), i still think about you from time to time too, i don't think it'll work now either, we are to strong willed, to distant. I won't ever be able to give up the hope, i can't expalin why, i hope you understand that hope. Its not a bad thing to me, its just always there, and strong.
[11:41:17 AM] Dirk van Ingen: sry, too silly, idealistic
[11:41:23 AM] Anna Pechenina: lol yes
[11:41:35 AM] Anna Pechenina: but hope is always a good thing
[11:41:44 AM] Dirk van Ingen: i'll talk to you later
[11:41:47 AM] Dirk van Ingen: have to work
[11:41:48 AM] Anna Pechenina: ok have a good day
[11:41:51 AM] Dirk van Ingen: you too
[11:41:54 AM] Anna Pechenina: bye